Press Release: April 1, 2024

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For a number of years now, work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the cryptically conceived concept of contrast that would not only supply inverse reactive spatial quanta for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grameters.

Now basically the only new principle involved is that instead of light being generated by the relative emmyssion of luminatar-fluxes, it is produced by the modial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive diractance.

The original algorithm used a base formula where a pre-famulated amulite was surmounting a malleable logarithmic return statement, in such a way that the two spurving bear-rings were on a syma-trick axis with a panametric phantom. The latter consisted simply of a matrix of nine hydrocoptic marzlevanes, calculated into the ambifacient lunar wane-space such that cone-fumbling was effectively prevented.

The main calculation is of the normal lotus-o-deltoid Foo-Yay-Bar integrated in a panendermic semi-boloid soft-clarping of the goto statement, switching every seventh case via non-reversible tremie pipe to the differential spring-roller with a plumb source on the W axis of the grameters.

Today, utilizing the latest advances in artificially flavored machine insentience, we can now say with complete confidence the odor of opteritations to maximize the functionality, such that we can present, in the simplest possible manner, what we would further describe as, an expressed plurality of the following de-complexified planar linguistic tutorial.

The turbo contrastulator algorithm knows what the contrast is at all times. It knows this because it knows what it isn’t. By subtracting what it is from what it isn’t, or what it isn’t from what it is (whichever is greater), it attains a difference or deviance. The turbo contrastulator algorithm uses these deviant results to generate corrective commands to drive the contrast from a value where it is, to a value where it isn’t, arriving at a value where it wasn’t, but is now. Consequently, the value where it is, is the value where it wasn’t. So it follows therefore, that the value where it was, is the value where it now isn’t.

As you can plainly see the turbo-contrastulator has now achieved a high level of deployment, and it is being successfully used in the operation of novertrunnions. Moreover, whenever a forescent skor prediction is required, it may also be employed in conjunction with an articula-procation dingle armature, to reduce sinusoidal repleneration.

Dr. Arney S. Arcasm

Director Emeritus
TMIDERPYABPHOBIA
The Ministry for Investigating
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Prolixity Yammering About Beating
Perished Horses Oversight Bureau
Inspection Administration
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