There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

These four lines should be committed to the remote README file: A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it's not that good.

Programmer: a person who fixed a problem you didn't know you had in a way you didn't understand

A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him by 24 grams.

Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack. Real programmers count from 0.

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"